Killer Kids: Children in Horror
Byon Jun 14, 2012
Imagine being out in the freezing cold wilderness on a nice trip with your kids, your friends, and all their adorable little ones. Sounds fun, right? Now imagine that same scenario escape the kids start acting a little funny and eventually turn batshit crazy, attacking everyone in sight. Now that sounds fun… to watch, at least. Well, you’re in luck! This Friday’s Chiller premiere is Tom Shankland’s 2008 film The Children and it’s a great little film filled with little evil bastards. In honor of the flick, we decided to discuss some of horror’s most heinous killer kids. Enjoy!
PET SEMATARY (1989)
You’re damn right the ground is sour. Poor little adorable Gage Creed gets hit by a semi and pops buries him in the land above the Pet Sematary. Dumb move, Daddy. Turns out the ground is more sour than a bag of lemons and Gage comes back hell bent on slicing people’s Achilles tendons. Oh, and killing people too, but I’ll be damned if that Achilles slice isn’t one of the nastiest things ever laid to celluloid.
THE BROOD (1979)
Speaking of some really strange kids, the psychosomatic offspring of the absolutely nutso Nola Carveth in David Cronenberg’s The Brood aren’t just weird looking, but they’re also deranged killers. Well, it’s not all their fault. They’re really just acting on Nola’s rage even if she has no clue that it’s happening. It might sound trippy (that’s because it is), but it’s also a horror classic with an ending you’ll never forget.
WHO CAN KILL A CHILD? (1976)
This 1976 Spanish film is about a couple who end up on an island inhabited by a bunch of psychotic blood-hungry kids. It’s actually quite similar to what you find if you happen to wander into the McDonald’s Playground. Between the crazy kids and the germs hopping from toy to toy, you’re lucky to come out alive.
VILLAGE OF THE DAMNED (1960)
Wolf Rilla’s original 1960 Village of the Damned film is a genre classic and really the high point of all kids-on-the-rampage movies. If you’re a horror fan and you don’t still see those glowing alien eyes staring back at you in the night, there’s probably something wrong with you.
THE RING (2002)
Poor Samara. Everything seemed fine until she got tossed into that blasted well! Now she has to spend eternity cursing VHS tapes, crawling out of TVs with her hair dripping wet, and scaring Naomi Watts. As fun as this 2002 remake is, there’s absolutely nothing that compares to seeing Samara crawl out of that TV for the first time in the original Ringu. Nothing.
THE BAD SEED (1956)
Little Rhoda Penmark is so absolutely adorable, polite, and well behaved. That is, until no one is looking and the blonde tike starts causing trouble all around her. This 1956 film is a campy classic that the whole family will love! Well, maybe not the whole family, but it is a fairly gore-less horror film that still works pretty well even today.
BATTLE ROYALE (2000)
These kids weren’t just hungry. These kids were playing for their lives! The original kids-killing-kids classic is a brutal, gory mess of a film and that’s why it’s still so awesome. These kids are ruthless killers and they do whatever they have to do to survive this cruel game. It’s no surprise that it took years before it saw a proper DVD release here in the US.
THE OMEN (1976)
When you’re the son of Satan, there are certain rules you must adhere to: 1) You must look like the creepiest kid on the blood. 2) You must scare the living crap out of Gregory Peck and Lee Remick. And 3) You, unfortunately, must be subjected to a terrible remake in 2006. Sorry, Damien, not even you can escape the dreaded remake curse.
CHILDREN OF THE CORN (1984)
Again, in list form, here are the keys to a successful harvest (at least I’m told these are the keys): 1) Gather a group of extremely looking kids. 2) Make sure the kids are completely psychotic. 3) Unleash said kids on all the unsuspecting adults in the area. 4) Have these kiddos ritualistically kill the adults. 5) Watch your corn grow taller than the Chrysler Building! That is how it works, right?